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VROOM! VROOM! BZZZZZZ!
by Phil Bencomo
My body reacts pretty strongly to mosquito bites; I'm currently sporting bites on my legs that look more like welts -- crimson-colored blotches each about the size of a dime. Not fun, especially since those cursed buggers seem to nail me every time I go outside in the evening.
But more importantly, the things itch like crazy! At times, I'm tempted to dash to the garage, grab a chainsaw, and methodically remove affected appendages. "HA!" I think to myself. "I'll stop the itching and reduce my bodily surface area, making me less vulnerable to future attacks!" Oh, don't worry -- I always stop myself well short of the garage, but at times like those, it's hard to convince myself that, really, the saw is NOT the best option.
I've also found that the Cubs induce just about the same reaction. I watch them get multiple guys on with less than two outs -- and leave them stranded. Again. And again. And again.
And with the Cubs, I can't just coat them in Cortaid like I do my legs. I can only sit and watch, irritated beyond belief. Trying times. Very trying.
But at least, despite all their recent struggles, the Cubs are still only a single game back. For now, I guess that will have to do.