As I'm certain you've read by now in other more prosaic sources, one Mr. Miguel Tejada, All-Star shortstop of the Baltimore American League Baseball Franchise, is heartily displeased at the direction in which his financial benefactors are progressing, and had he his druthers, would be traded forthwith to a patron more likely to aspire to the lofty heights of laurel heaps he so desperately desires - even more than the massive money mounds he so valued in years past.

It just so happens, the Chicago National League Baseball Franchise has something of a vacancy in their middle-infield (perhaps even a vacuum, should the batting prowess of one Mr. Perez be given full consideration), and in the right circumstances, could be persuaded to conceive of a way to accommodate Mr. Tejada.

It, therefore, seems appropriate at this juncture to offer a suggestion for how such an arrangement might transpire, the inspiration for which stems directly from erstwhile dealings between these two proud organizations less than one year previous.

The Chicago ball-club would send one Mr. Jerry Hairston, a diminutive but versatile sprite, back to his former climes, and in exchange, the Baltimores would pack Mr. Tejada in a well-ventilated crate with 90% of the sizable salary he's owed during the next four calendar turns, and ship it to the City of Broad Shoulders post-haste.

It only seems the right and proper thing to do. After all, these friendly fowl let their oh-so hospitable nature shine through when their cuddly brethren sadly found themselves in dire need of liberating one Mr. Sosa from his furry shackles. Returning said favor is the least that is owed.