Baseball Toaster Cub Town
Ummm... 9.350?
2004-08-19 06:41
by alex ciepley

In a night when Paul Hamm pulls perhaps the greatest comeback in men's Olympic gymnastic history, the Cubs did a little coming-back of their own. I was, again, primarily watching the Olympics last night, but I "fortuitously" turned to watch the Cubs right before both game-tying Branyan homers. I felt immediately guilty (by changing the channel to watch, I of course had affected the outcome of the at-bats), so I didn't watch any more of the game until extra innings, when Corey Patterson once again tried to shush his critics on The Cub Reporter with a game-winning homer.

It wasn't all good, though. Somewhere, in some hotel in Milwaukee, I imagine Matt Clement up last night drafting the following letter to his teammates:


Dear Mates,

Did I forget to send someone on a card on their birthday? Did I leave some dishes in the sink? Did I forget to put the toilet seat down?

What ever it is I did, I'm awful sorry.

I've tried my best this season, but it seems that we always find a way to screw up the games I start. Even I find a way to screw up the games I start: last night I had one of my better outings of the year, but I throw one mistake pitch and Pow! Three-run homer. No one else had a chance the whole night.

Until, of course, I turned it over to the bullpen. Even when we get the only guy in the 'pen going good—Remmie—he manages to blow my lead. I won't even go into the fact that the opposition's rally began in the eighth (of course) when there were two outs (of course) and our pitcher was ahead in the count 0-2 (of course).

Bitching aside, guys, I don't know what else I should be doing here. In June I had a 2.75 ERA, and I K'd 43 in 39 and 1/3 innings. I won one game (yippee!) and lost three. In July I had a 3.29 ERA, and I K'd over a batter per inning again. But again I only won one game (yippee!) while losing four games. Sure, I'm not perfect, but Shawn Estes is 13-4 this year, despite having a 5.59 ERA. Yeah, he's in Colorado, but he's Shawn Estes. Shawn Estes sucks.

Dusty, I'm getting the feeling you don't like me so much either. Now, I don't mind going up against a team's best pitcher, but why do I always have to go up against a team's best pitcher? I mean, this year I've faced:

Jason Schmidt (twice!)
Roger Clemens (twice!)
Ben Sheets (twice!)
Jake Peavy
Al Leiter
Kevin Millwood

This is even leaving out Mark Redman, Kelvim Escobar, and Matt Morris, all of whom—granted—I'm better than. But can't I every once in a while draw, say, Shawn Estes? I betcha he wouldn't have 13 wins if I were facing him every time out.

But I don't want to complain too much here. You guys are swell, even if I know this is probably my last run with the team -- you got that Dempster dude, plus those whippersnappers Guzman and Brownlie in the minors. So I'm gonna bring my resume to the free agent mart. You know, a lot of those GMs look first at that win column. Can you give a guy a hand here, help me wrack up a few "W"s in the last few weeks of the season?

With the Wild Card on the line, you might even find that those wins help us all out.



P.S. Thanks Corey!

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