When I saw on that interweb thingy I've heard so much about that Sergio Mitre had managed to retire the Jays in order in the first inning, the first time they had gone down so meekly at a game's start in the series, I started to get my hopes up that this contest would diverge from the script as much as the other two of the troika.

When Mitre got through the entire Jays lineup in 33 pitches without allowing a baserunner, then drove in Todd Hollandsworth with a double to score the first run of the game, giving the Cubs their first lead of the series, I was nearly sure of it.

When Corey Patterson - whom I lately excoriated for failing to learn anything at the plate - singled off the illustrious Roy Halladay to drive in run number two, I was finally positive that today would be the Cubs' day, despite what my instincts told me beforehand.

My instincts said, "Sergio Mitre has been very hittable in nearly every outing he's had at the Major League level. The Cubs will be lucky if he holds Toronto to four runs over six innings, like John Koronka did on Monday."

The reality was, while I didn't see him throw a single pitch, I can deduce that he was, in fact, not very hittable, by noting the small number of hits he gave up - two, to be exact. He also managed to only walk one man, and in the process of all this, let only a single baserunner get as far as second. That, my friends, is good work. Far better work than I expected.

My instincts said, "Roy Halladay throws strikes and keeps hitters off balance. The Cubs will be lucky to score at all on him, let alone score enough to support an outing by Mitre."

The reality was, that while the Cubs certainly didn't light Doc afire, getting seven hits in seven innings off a pitcher of his caliber is far from shame-worthy. True, the two runs they scored were a less than insurmountable obstacle - even tinier looking when Ryan Dempster put the tying run on base in the ninth - but it was enough to get the job done, thanks to the outstanding work of Mr. Mitre.

Looking at what my instincts were up to, I think I owe Sergio an apology on their behalf: I'm deeply sorry, Sergio, for allowing my instincts to doubt you. Sometimes they can get carried away, thinking everything that can go wrong will, and in this case, you were the target of their thoughtless negativity.

However, in light of today's result, I must inform you and the rest of the Cubs organization that my instincts have once again seen their way to divine a sad and miserable fate for the lot of you. I'm told at this time by my gut (the instincts' official spokes-organ), that the Cubs are about to embark on a historic losing streak spanning the remainder of the season, which is 104 games.

Not only that, but despite their obvious failure to make the postseason after such a disastrous run, the team's luck will be so bad as to actually lose another 11 consecutive contests in October, even though they will not be participating in a single game. I have no idea how such a thing will come to pass - seemingly impossible as it is - but my instincts say it, and so I believe it.

I'm saddened to be the one forced to reveal such a dismal future, but please bear in mind that I am merely the messenger. My instincts have no hidden agenda, and only report what they know, so blame in this case is fruitless. All that remains is for you to submit to your destiny and bow before the powers that dictate such events.

Or you can rage, rage against your fate and teach my instincts just how worthless and pitiful they truly are, showing them with every hit, every strikeout, every victory that they are the fools and you are masters.

Yeah, that could work, too.