Baseball Toaster Cub Town
Know Your Enemy 2005 - Week 12
2005-06-27 13:06
by Derek Smart

Everyone except the Astros flailed about in a soup of mediocrity this week, posting no more than four wins and no more than four losses. Bo-ring.

  1. St. Louis Cardinals

    Season Record47-28
    Week's Record3-4
    Games Back--

    Cardinal Little: The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

    Henny Penny: How do you know?

    Cardinal Little: We lost a series to the Reds!

    Henny Penny: Well, that's hardly proof.

    Cardinal Little: We split a series with the Pirates!

    Henny Penny: That's still not a lot to go on. Did you actually see some of the sky come down?

    Cardinal Little: No, but did you see Abraham Nunez on the basepaths on Sunday?

    Henny Penny: Okay, point taken. But one mediocre week doesn't tank a whole season of effortless dominance.

    Cardinal Little: But Mark Mulder is inconsistent and expensive!!!

    Henny Penny: Stop being alarmist. Look at the teams you're competing against? Even if you stumble, who's going to overtake you?

    Cardinal Little: All of them! Allllllll of them!!! I have to tell Prince Albert! The sky is falling! The skyyyy is falling!

  2. Milwaukee Brewers

    Season Record35-40
    Week's Record4-3
    Games Back12.0

    Rickie Weeks and Prince Fielder showed the Twins what the NL Central has to look forward to for years to come, as they both hit their first Major League homers in the same game. They may not be in line for the postseason this year, but if getting a glimpse of what those two gents will bring doesn't put a chill in the hearts of their division-mates, nothing will.

  3. Pittsburgh Pirates

    Season Record34-40
    Week's Record3-4
    Games Back12.5

    Despite bookend victories against the Cardinals, the Pirates look to be settling toward the bottom of the division like sediment toward the riverbed.

  4. Houston Astros

    Season Record33-40
    Week's Record5-1
    Games Back13.0

    Six consecutive games at home, three of them against the Rockies, helped fuel the Astros' second week of surging. It also doesn't hurt when three of your starters combine for 30.1 innings of 1.19 ERA ball while your normally anemic offense posts only a single game where they score fewer than five runs.

    It's doubtful they can keep it up, but then again, Houston always seems to find a way to make things interesting.

  5. Cincinnati Reds

    Season Record30-45
    Week's Record3-3
    Games Back17.0

    Freed at last from the emotional tyranny of Barca-terrorism, the Reds went out and did a fair imitation of a Major League baseball team this week. Unfortunately, even Rich Little can't remain Ronald Reagan forever, so like the images in an oft-watched VHS edition of One's A Crowd, this run of competence, too, shall fade.

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