Baseball Toaster Cub Town
Winter Wackyland
2005-11-14 04:37
by Derek Smart

There's been a lot of chatter surrounding Rafael Furcal over the last week or so. He might play second for the Mets, he might play center for the Yankees, he might invent a cure for the heartbreak of psoriasis while orbiting Earth in his Outer Space Laboratory. Yet one gets the feeling that this is only the beginning.

In fact, the words being bandied about at this point are in a near constant state of contradiction. Take this set of quotes from Furcal's agent, Paul Kinzer.

"Things have changed significantly since the free-agent period started. There's only one Rafael Furcal available and whoever wants to get him will have to pay for what he is worth," Kinzer said Friday. "We're looking for a five- or six-year contract, and $50 million is a pretty realistic figure."
-, 11/11/2005

"All I said was that we were looking for five years, and possibly six," [Kinzer] said. "I never said $50 million."
- Chicago Tribune, 11/12/2005

Ah, so he never said most of the things he said. There's going to be a lot of this sort of thing in the days and weeks to come - information leaks out, it causes some stir among the participants in the negotiations, denials and restatements are made in the interest of damage control. It makes this time all the more difficult for folks like us, as we sit here trying to figure out what's really happening.

Then, of course, there's the joy of non-information that only serves to create a vortex of oxymoronic gravity that pulls one's immortal soul into a black hole of amorphous frustration. Take a gander at these snippets:

Agent Paul Kinzer and the Braves agreed to hold off further discussions until other suitors, including the Chicago Cubs and New York Mets, have talked dollars with Kinzer.
- Atlanta Journal Constitution, 11/11/2005

The Cubs aren't likely to start the bidding until they can gauge Atlanta's interest in re-signing Furcal.
- Chicago Tribune, 11/12/2005

Nobody's doin' nothin' 'till somebody does somethin'. That shouldn't take long.

It seems I have to go through it every year. Despite having seen it time and again, every year I have to remind myself that, while it's okay to pay attention to this stuff, it's not okay to try to make sense of it. All it takes is reading through a couple sets of quotes like these to come to the realization: That way lies madness. Just as certainly as standing for thirty seconds in front of a bakery brings the understanding: That way lies cookies.

Take my advice, folks. Save yourselves. This stuff will seep into every nook and cranny of your brain, invading moments of your life, making you think of Corey Patterson trade scenarios while you're trying to conduct a meeting, or talk to your spouse, or sleep. Just put down the mouse, and walk away from the monitor. Just walk away. You'll thank me later.

2005-11-14 06:47:22
1.   Lefty
Then stop posting. A new title on the left is like honey to flies.
2005-11-14 06:52:18
2.   Derek Smart
Geez, that doesn't sound the least bit thankful. ;)
2005-11-14 07:27:10
3.   Marc Normandin
"You think your driving to work, but really your brain is going, how did a horse get her into college? Then you think your eating dinner with your family, but your brain is going 'if it weren't for my horse, if it weren't for my horse...' then they find you dead in the bathroom with blood shooting out your nose!"

I love Lewis Black

Oh and this is interesting in regards to Furcal

2005-11-14 07:32:35
4.   Marc Normandin
As an apology for my ranting comment, I clicked your Google Adsense...twice!
2005-11-14 10:30:33
5.   Sandus
One thing I know for sure: In 36 hours (from when I post this), if Hideki Matsui is unsigned, then the Cubs should grab their checkbooks.
2005-11-14 12:48:36
6.   scareduck
That's funny!
2005-11-14 19:36:17
7.   tewksbury
Well said.

Every fall & winter I obsess about the possibilities. Every spring I'm disappointed. Every summer I lament ... why couldn't they sign Akinori Otuska (and so on)...

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