Baseball Toaster Cub Town
You! Are! The Blogger!
2006-02-17 09:40
by Derek Smart

All week, pitchers and catchers have been reporting to Major League training camps, marking not only the start of Spring Training, but the official opening of what I call, "The Season of Rumination" - the time of year when, for lack of concrete subject matter, baseball bloggers turn introspective and write at length on the coming Spring and all its concomitant metaphors.

Much like mini-camps held in previous weeks, some have already begun this endeavor in earnest, myself included, but it is in the coming days that the yeoman's work will truly be done. Some of you may feel left out of this orgy of poeticals, feeling that, perhaps, any attempts at expressing the sentiments of the season would leave you embarrassed - that your efforts might not be up to public exposure - or that it's simply too much trouble and effort to bother.

Which is why I have created this simple, easy to use form that will allow you to make your very own Paean to Spring. Simply choose the phrase that most closely matches your personal taste from the dropdown menus provided, and when you reach the end - Voila! - you'll have assembled your very own Ode du Printemps!

So what are you waiting for! Pick some phrases, have some fun, and most of all, enjoy the Spring!


As recently as , things were looking up in and its environs. After a brutal series of days filled with wind and snow, cold and darkness, there was a glorious five day stretch filled with brightness and warmth (at least in a relative sense) that not only melted the winter's accumulated snowfall, but served to thaw this baseball fan's near-frozen .

Temperatures rose as the time until men were to meet and play over oceans of grass fell away like a on a soft, vernal breeze. Walking outside was transformed from an act of necessity to one of pure pleasure. Layers were shed, and as the city's sidewalks filled with those freed from their prisons of goose down, one could smell the in the air.

It was early, we knew that, but on these days when by all rights we should still be tightly gripped by the Old Man's frigid fist, it's impossible not to think defiant thoughts of . "Spring!" As one mind we transmitted the word, as if the intensity of our combined mental efforts would make what was temporary permanent, bringing the final push that sent the Old Man to his .

That's gone now. This morning was gloomy and chill. It is jarring. Disconcerting. And despite continuing to creep nearer our object of desire - sans thought, sans effort, always moving forward - it seems farther now than ever; the perception of time's passing stretched from inches into feet and feet into fathoms by .

Yet closer still it comes, and thank for small mercies. Those men will meet, and they will play, and more men will follow upon them. Together, they will signal an end and a beginning, both of them welcome as an old friend. Time marches on, and the days will come and go until our long wait is through. It will all be over soon, but how I wish it were !


The root text above was based on a horrid, turgid piece of prose that can be viewed in its entirety here. Should any of you recognize its author on the street, the recommended course of action would be to him. That is all.

2006-02-17 10:39:35
1.   Cliff Corcoran
You know, Derek, if you thought the intro to my "Good Morning, Campers!" post was crap, you could have just sent me an email. ;)

Meanwhile, can we get a few more posts with the word "blog" on the sidebar? I don't think we've quite gone meta- enough yet.

2006-02-17 10:43:33
2.   nickb
Cool. It's kind of like "Mad Libs" for adults.
2006-02-17 10:44:01
3.   scareduck
Hmm, seems familiar...

2006-02-17 10:52:18
4.   Derek Smart
Yikes! I swear, scareduck, I totally missed that last year.

Besides, yours is funnier, and has the added benefit of ripping Plaschke.

2006-02-17 10:58:51
5.   scareduck
Oh, I know. I wasn't accusing you of plagiarism -- believe me, I don't read every word of every blog out there, either.
2006-02-17 12:07:11
6.   Andy Rutledge
Love the baseball madlibs. I did one last year, too:

2006-02-17 16:07:35
7.   Xeifrank
Heard the Cubs were tearing up the grass in Wrigley and replacing it with cardboard. All the pundits have been telling them the past couple of years that they are really good on paper. Guess we'll find out this year. :)
vr, Xei

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