Baseball Toaster Cub Town
I Request Your Interpretive Powers
2008-04-08 06:20
by Derek Smart

Here's this little ditty from the normally excellent and completely comprehensible, Bruce Miles:

"You know what? I'd rather win ugly than lose pretty," Piniella restated following the 4-hour, 47-minute game.


Once again, the Cubs looked bad in the field, with 3 errors, including another late-inning bobble by second baseman Mark DeRosa.

The Pirates helped to paint a mustache on this one, too, as their pitchers walked 11 batters, with their fielders committing a pair of errors.

Emphasis mine, of course. Honestly, I don't mean to be critical, but I truly don't know what that means. Is it that all things are uglier with a mustache, all things are uglier with paint, or that a painted mustache is the ugliest thing of all? Was it the color of mustache that was problematic, or was it perhaps the style (for example, I could see friendly mutton-chops being an issue)?

It would be one thing if I were a wee bairn new to these fancy talking ways, but I'm getting a little too old to be uninitiated to widely distributed colloquialisms. Please feel free to tell me what I'm missing, and why exactly it makes me stupid.

2008-04-08 06:56:02
1.   Josh Wilker
My guess is that he's alluding to the comic vandalism of painting a mustache on the faces of people in portraits, e.g., Mona Lisa with a 'stache, the "masterpiece" here being the ideal of crisp, error-free baseball.
2008-04-08 08:27:11
2.   Brent is a Dodger Fan
1 I would guess the same thing. And hence, it goes along with the context that it was an ugly game.
2008-04-08 08:41:39
3.   Derek Smart
Ah, the art vandalism angle. Makes sense, although I'm sad to admit my brain simply didn't go there. My lack of culture shines through, yet again!
2008-04-08 10:23:07
4.   Sandus
Now I can't stop thinking about the Family Guy episode where Peter draws mustaches on the family pictures and erases Cleveland's.
2008-04-08 13:39:14
5.   Eric Enders
I think the verb "paint" is what threw Derek off. If we're talking mustaches in the vandalism sense, who paints 'em? They're drawn or scribbled.

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